Beauty Parlor (USA 1976, Crystal Sync, Ashley Moore) 59min720p60fps

R. Bolla and the attractive one-timer Jane Dorian (more about her fate later) run a beauty salon, not doing well, and Bolla gripes about clients who cancel their appointments (hey R. -that goes with the territory). Opening sex scene has Bolla with a foot fetish as he gives customer Crystal Sync (in a bad wig) a sex treatment. He announces "Now for the protein rinse" and cums all over her wig. This was the signal to me that we'd be in for some very bad jokes, and sure enough, the overrated "actor" Bolla is up to his worst tricks, doing an extremely lame Woody Allen impression - the vocal tics and pauses - about on the level of the more frequent amateur night Chris Walken impressions that have caught on lately. Dorian, who goes to bed with Bolla wearing black nylons and high heels (hey, us slobs out there are watching) cooks up a scheme with Bolla to turn their hair salon into a sort of brothel, decorated with dildos and sex toys. This high- concept sets in motion the remainder of this dreary porn exercise about various customers being serviced in varying ways. by sound67